The Misadventures of Captain Sternn in the Cannaverse

[Ramjet159]

Technically caves are where Roquefort came from

It's probably related to how Cats only Meow when they try to communicate with Humans. Dogs that came from Wolves with a gene that allowed them to tolerate us more easily, helped early humans in areas in colder climates, to hunt down animals and survive. Wolves can see, hear, and smell prey from a way longer distance, and after some time, and generations of Wolves that grew up around Humans, they changed behavior a bit, as helped us find food that we of course shared with them, making a strong bond. How we went from that to a Labradoodle..... *sigh*

Funny you say that . My sister owns a Cockadoodle ( sounds like half rooster )
The thing is like it’s lobotomised . In the wild it would be fodder in minutes .
Can’t say I’m a fan

 

[Psychobilly]

Funny you say that . My sister owns a Cockadoodle ( sounds like half rooster )
The thing is like it’s lobotomised . In the wild it would be fodder in minutes .
Can’t say I’m a fan

Although I don't personally have any ill will toward a dog, I have been known to see an ankle biter barking and say "Watch your mouth Musky bait!", LOL. It can get either a laugh, or a disturbed look, depending on what personality type the person hearing it has.

So, bro... When your sister cleans up after that dog... Is she scooping Cockadoodle....Doo?

 

[Captain Sternn]

Well today was a day I've contemplated and dreaded for some time. The fuss all began at 6 a.m.

Old Molly got up, wanted out so I went out and looked around as always..all clear turned out the hounds and they're all doing their business in the front yard, and then I saw it. A white animal hurrying along at the edge of the road. FFS PLEASE be a possum. That's no possum.

Of course the dogs saw it, hell only separated by a few feet, and Naughty Audie The Black Tyrant of Fort Apache got herself shpritzed with skunk goo. We made a paste of baking soda, peroxide and dish soap and put on her. The wife brought some of that Pooph stuff home from town. Jury is still out on that stuff.

All in all was not as bad as it could have been, but apparently the subtle part of the aroma is going to hang on for a bit. What a way to start the day

 

[Amarok]

Sorry to laugh, brother, but that is good entertainment if you are on this side of the screen.

 

[Jewels]

Sorry to laugh

I was only grinning ,, lil bit, honest.

Good memories.
It is late october, I am balls deep in the river chasing my dog around with a bottle of Johnson's Baby Shampoo

 

[Jewels]

All the phenoHunters be talking up that aroma, but if you've ever actually had it on you, you would agree; it smells like all of 3M's worst ideas, burning in the same barrel.

 

[DopeDaniel]

Sorry to laugh, brother, but that is good entertainment if you are on this side of the screen.

Check out the pooph infomercial.

 

[Captain Sternn]

Check out the pooph infomercial.

I know right we laugh every time at the little poo pile "I smell like poop and flowers now" it sounds just like a voice our son uses sometimes and it's exactly the kind of thing he would say in that voice lol

We couldn't really tell if the stuff worked as advertised or not the stuff we made ourselves did pretty well, and I don't think Audie caught a full on blast either

Sorry to laugh, brother, but that is good entertainment if you are on this side of the screen.

Hey no problem, we're laughing today. The shouting and general confustication that ensued at the time would have been quite a sight

it smells like all of 3M's worst ideas, burning in the same barrel.

That's funny shit right there I'm going to need to use that

 

[DopeDaniel]

I know right we laugh every time at the little poo pile "I smell like poop and flowers now" it sounds just like a voice our son uses sometimes and it's exactly the kind of thing he would say in that voice lol

We couldn't really tell if the stuff worked as advertised or not the stuff we made ourselves did pretty well, and I don't think Audie caught a full on blast either



Hey no problem, we're laughing today. The shouting and general confustication that ensued at the time would have been quite a sight



That's funny shit right there I'm going to need to use that

Hate to say and if pressed I'll deny this 100%, I wanted to try the stuff but Bezos worked his magic and a different product was delivered. What we got seems to work on the kitchen trash.

 

[Psychobilly]

Old Molly got up, wanted out so I went out and looked around as always..all clear turned out the hounds and they're all doing their business in the front yard, and then I saw it. A white animal hurrying along at the edge of the road. FFS PLEASE be a possum. That's no possum.
Of course the dogs saw it, hell only separated by a few feet, and Naughty Audie The Black Tyrant of Fort Apache got herself shpritzed with skunk goo. We made a paste of baking soda, peroxide and dish soap and put on her. The wife brought some of that Pooph stuff home from town. Jury is still out on that stuff.

Awwww you have a Chemdog now

All in all was not as bad as it could have been, but apparently the subtle part of the aroma is going to hang on for a bit. What a way to start the day

LOL I feel bad for your clothes the first time you visit bro.

All the phenoHunters be talking up that aroma, but if you've ever actually had it on you, you would agree; it smells like all of 3M's worst ideas, burning in the same barrel.

*Ahem* One of us is NOT scared of a little Chem Cat Remember the baby one the Wife and I saw by the side of the road ? I almost took him home...

 

[Mrhamilton73]

I really do love the smell of some roadkill skunk, but my buddy hit one with his truck once…..not pleasant, and it took weeks for the bite to go away.
I’ve heard tomato juice will help neutralize the stank on your clothes etc..

 

[Captain Sternn]

If I was Andy Reid, I'd be having me a sit down with Travis Kelce where I explain to him just how deep into the shit house his disrespect of me has gotten him, and then work that dudes ass like a rented mule every practice next season. I'm freakin' livid on Reid's behalf, it doesn't appear to have bothered him much but dammit man when your passion overides your professionalism to the point where you will make physical contact with your head coach while yelling in his face and you do it in front of millions of people, you need a catfish shoved up your ass. lol ranto finito

edit - Did I just invent ass-catting ?

 

[Psychobilly]

If I was Andy Reid, I'd be having me a sit down with Travis Kelce where I explain to him just how deep into the shit house his disrespect of me has gotten him, and then work that dudes ass like a rented mule every practice next season. I'm freakin' livid on Reid's behalf, it doesn't appear to have bothered him much but dammit man when your passion overides your professionalism to the point where you will make physical contact with your head coach while yelling in his face and you do it in front of millions of people, you need a catfish shoved up your ass. lol ranto finito

edit - Did I just invent ass-catting ?

How dare you use a Catfish like that!.... Use a Bass...It has ass right in the name bro

 

[Captain Sternn]

How dare you use a Catfish like that!

We don't have to use one of the good ones like a channel or blue, we could use a shitty little yellowbelly, they like to stick those wee spines out and lock them and that's just what I'm looking for in an ass cat. At first I was thinking of those little fellas that swim up your dickhole but they do that on their own when you pee while in the water and I don't think you could put one up a dickhole without some intimate contact that I'm not really up for. I'm down with being the shover in a Travis Kelce ass catting though.

Going to need...let's make it 8-10 stout fellas to make sure he consents. Maybe we could catch him face down on a massage table in the locker room and just throw a sheet over him similar to what they did to Pvt. Pyle in Full Metal Jacket. And if the Swifties have a problem with it well the world has plenty of yellowbellies. I'll become a new super-villian, The Mad Ass-Catter. Or I could rip off Dr. Seuss and make a childrens book to teach sports etiquette and call it The Cat In The Ass.

 

[Captain Sternn]

Or I could rip off Dr. Seuss and make a childrens book to teach sports etiquette and call it The Cat In The Ass.

He wants on the field to do runs that are runny
But he shits on the coach and we don't think that's funny
If he'd sit on the bench and keep his mouth shut
We won't need to jam this fish in his butt

 

[Captain Sternn]

Tay-Tay has gone, she's now far away
Where she went, nobody can say
But she has too much money
And she has too much class
To go out with a guy
With a fish in his ass

 

[Psychobilly]

We don't have to use one of the good ones like a channel or blue, we could use a shitty little yellowbelly,

But they're adorable...

they like to stick those wee spines out and lock them and that's just what I'm looking for in an ass cat.

Yeah, they're also venomous Personally I haven't ever been barbed by a Catfish, but from what I've seen, it looks painful LOL. You'd think all the pets I've had and the amount of them I've caught, that I would have been stabbed by now, but no. I know what they can do and I'm careful. So, so far at least, no stabs.

At first I was thinking of those little fellas that swim up your dickhole but they do that on their own when you pee while in the water and I don't think you could put one up a dickhole without some intimate contact that I'm not really up for. I'm down with being the shover in a Travis Kelce ass catting though.

Those are a species of Catfish too, in the Amazon. They have a cousin that also "spins" into you while eating, and they end up eating you from the inside. Scary little guys. Candiru, and the Candiru Acu (I get them mixed up)

Going to need...let's make it 8-10 stout fellas to make sure he consents. Maybe we could catch him face down on a massage table in the locker room and just throw a sheet over him similar to what they did to Pvt. Pyle in Full Metal Jacket. And if the Swifties have a problem with it well the world has plenty of yellowbellies. I'll become a new super-villian, The Mad Ass-Catter. Or I could rip off Dr. Seuss and make a childrens book to teach sports etiquette and call it The Cat In The Ass.

If you used a Mad Katz Rod it'd be hilarious. There's way worse though that wouldn't harm a Catfish... Just buy a pet Goonch, and once he's like 70 pounds, put the guy's hand in the tank and, you know, let him have at it. They have teeth like a Shark. Scary fish haha.

Tay-Tay has gone, she's now far away
Where she went, nobody can say
But she has too much money
And she has too much class
To go out with a guy
With a fish in his ass

I heard from the in law that a guy got caught hunting on native land, and they left him out in the woods with a salmon up his ass.

 

[Frimpong]

If I was Andy Reid, I'd be having me a sit down with Travis Kelce where I explain to him just how deep into the shit house his disrespect of me has gotten him, and then work that dudes ass like a rented mule every practice next season. I'm freakin' livid on Reid's behalf, it doesn't appear to have bothered him much but dammit man when your passion overides your professionalism to the point where you will make physical contact with your head coach while yelling in his face and you do it in front of millions of people, you need a catfish shoved up your ass. lol ranto finito

edit - Did I just invent ass-catting ?

Shows you how much power the players have now to Versus The coach. Sad

 

[Psychobilly]

Shows you how much power the players have now to Versus The coach. Sad

That's how the Celtics kicked the Laker's ass the first time. Well, that and Larry Bird, lol. Pat Riley hadn't snapped at them yet. NBA kind of sucks now, but at least youtube has Larry Bird, Michael Jordan, Kareem, and the other greats available.

You know, Larry Bird coached the Pacers after he retired, and if I saw some player scream at him like that.... the thought of punching wouldn't be far off my mind.

 

[Willie]

Shows you how much power the players have now to Versus The coach. Sad

The way Reid shluffs it off, I'm guessin ole Travis might have some issues. Because what Andy says, sure don't seem like it fits what we saw. "Oh Travis does that all the time" huh?