OFF TOPIC JOURNALISM need help?

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one looks at how bad men look

in skinny jeans

wondering

are they constructed for

dressing to the left

don't give in

or Eddie Murphy in spandex

could b next

 

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if a virus dies in temps summer brings

heated checkout mats

door handles

crapper flushers

faucet handles

etc

let zealots

pay the rent

i qualify

btw

ocd

is not a choice

 

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can't we just light shops with uv pot lights

pass out shades n b done with it

whilst sharing in our presidential

winter tan linez

 

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far b it for me

to recommend something risky

but if we'd gone through the rx drive thru

we could've smoked

the entire time

and that bush

never would've jumped out at him

as it did

instead

let's go stand with all

the actual virus sufferers

ungloved

unmasked

sent home

from the hostable

waiting in the same lines

not 6' apart

leaning on the same

human height

counters

because we're lazy by nature

n always lean on the atm

during the 12 seconds it takes

to jackpot the machine

punching the same atm buttonz

picking up their albuterol inhalers

so the don't

suffocate on their trip home

then the guard dog/p.a. calls me

like I'll still b leaning on his tailgate

3hrs later

in 100° degrees

in hell

and if my battery ain't dead

yet

the pos phone

is overheated

anyway

makes no fucking cents

to me

so suddenly

when the let him walk from a car

company can't pull up in

they won't let him walk back

or

depart

solo

no

fucking

since

what

so

ever

we're retarded

by nature

 

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gurlz gone wild

now

we know

the ladies out number us

and btw

don't forget to cancel ur amzn subscription

due to non 2day freebies

at least 2 to 1

if for nothing else

than boobage

imagine how confusing it becomes

for a one armed guy

at least a paraplegic can still

enjoy

yachting

the boobage

so to speak

butt

for as well as minors gone wild did

instead of oc housewives

y not

oc skanks

instead

EVERYONE loves to c their friends fail

so they say

and for show

these bhit talking sitches

are paid because the ladies love

their backstabbing bitches

apparently

soooo

and half the cast r skanks, anyway

the other half have skank hubbies

so... y not

oc skanks

and we can c all the

-skank
i don't put out on the first date

if y'all say so

there won't b a second

otherwise

however

I'll beatcha to sayin it, first

if it makes u feel more at ease

or perhaps

adventurous

nothing says i love u

on a first date

like

a trip to a stripper's 'R US

AND

a

proper

big-O

give r take

 

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solo pool party

in the raw

with

corona

not even trump

has no thong lines

blindfolding his ash

this when the inventions

jizz

and creativity

tend to flow

 

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y

if shoez r lined and have soul

is footwear

not made of metal

with click on

replaceable soles

stripper heal clickonz

and

replaceable inserts

like spinco

already makez

and laces

r

u

fucking kidding me

i have steel fishing line

and light hangerz

but

we want

cotton/nylon laces

fuck it

let em tap dance

on our jimmy shoo

wallets

 

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what r your legs

steel springs

to step on the gas

of your chariot of fyre

and as limbless runnerz

use such appliances

if u shoes become metal

fuck nike pumps

your legs/shoez literally just got

the latest n greatest

titanium spring tech

 

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ahhh

let us battle insanity

 

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eye c a gate latch

which

could take an eye out

nm the drowning children

y not use magnets

perhaps a coded lock

for activation

 

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but

if the children

cannot allegedly

reach a latch

with a nearby

chair to stand on

a strong magnet

solo

with release slide between

would do

 

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the lovely g

in action

-g
do u have a lighter

now

i do smoke

from time to time

so the answer would b to the affirmative

naturally

so we watch

human nature

and

watch her phish

in a towel

so lighter

don't explode

or gas off

under 100+

duress

and she fishes

near her

because of course

i would shield lighter x

nearer to absent her

for her convenience

now I'm considerate

as y'all know

cause

it ain't gonna suck itself

by eod

so naturally

she's frustrated by this

lack of consideration

and has been gone all this 5minutes

seeking a lighter

i know she knows

she hides a drawer full

within

from me

naturally

shez back

obviously

it may have to suck itself

tonight

 

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there's Google star maps

y not

an app

for flight maps

ever look up

with a fidycal

and wonder

where they're going

the tech

already exists

to do this

in ur phone

 

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so I'm standing in one of the shallow ends

in all my glory

drinking

smoking

as any man would

and

-sc
I'm throwin Myelf atcha, here, babe

u know what that fucking bytch said to me

as she peered over n beyond the cooler

-my lovely g
well, i would
but
it looks sooo cold

u know what

fuck her

I'm not making the coffee

tomorrow

either

skank!

 

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o yes

this

this is so happening

feel like ur reading bporn

ur about to

she kept wrapping the hose

screw it

one is already bared

conveniently

then she flashes me

all but the jpot

and says

I'll b right back

uhuh

that's what i thought

go wash up

baby

cause i know ya been layin out

sweating all day

hopefully

she scoots down

scoots down

further

closer

because won may never b

too rich

too poor

or too close to the edge of the pool

and

MY lips

 

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coronas

r so pretty

when one opens n drinkz one

fantastic

she came out with more clothes on

perfect

more to peel

then

she posed about

and

l
e
f
t

you bytch!

this is my life

fine

it's a small load

I'll do it by hand

bytch

 

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ohhh

this reminds me

bat left handed



praise baby jezuz

for the poolman

ain't cleanin it!

 

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now

let's talk about HE

washerz